Hey dev team just ignore att this hate and criticism some of these people put. Just have fun and create the story yall want to create. Im loving the story and all the art. Just keep having fun. You got my support.
Buddy, body positivity is not embracing your “inner fatass”…
it’s about accepting your dysfunctions like for example: losing a leg in a car accident, or being born without a nose… or losing an eye (and much more) in a war (looking at you Calbex).
Correct me if I’m wrong
Edit: it’s literally in the second CG on that page…
Reading the synopsis and the comment under mine just pushed me to get this. Saw the name of this as a suggestion in a random Keith Ballard vid and thought I'd look it up. Glad I did, kinda excited, hope this holds up. That said, still gotta catch up on some others before reading this.
I abs love this story and how it plays out, i await new updates in the future and i love your work, everything from the artstyle to the environments, music and everything is very well done. I love the work.
I do want more content of Jeaz and Cyrox tho plz plz 🙏🙏 (And caldex ofc ofc)
The actions scenes are always super well done, which is impressive, because other than horror, I personally find that action is the most difficult genre to write well, so I really must applaud the effort xou've put into making these scenes coherent and absolutely enjoyable 😌
Everything about IFS is top notch. Backgrounds, sprites, music, writing, pacing, world building, everything! 😁 I'm totally hooked and can't wait to see where xou guys take this compelling tale!
It doesn't happen often, but when there is such an amazing female character like Xaria despite all the characters being good. She is easily my favorite
This story has me so hooked right now and i love all the characters, I kinda hate how attracted I am to Brut... and Eryx must be protected at all costs (who im also severely attracted to)
Loving the vn so far, i like the setting and story building, and a very solid mix of characters. Also Eryx is too pure and I must protect him from harm!
I'm glad the story still continues, even though I'm late to the party. and even though calbex lashed out, if anything I just felt sad, rather than upset about the sudden whiplash. I just want to comfort him, but you can't comfort someone without knowing whats wrong first. so gonna be chilling and waiting for that to come along at some point. oh yea, Merry Christmas.
A pretty enjoyable YA fiction if that's your sort of thing. Art, worldbuilding, writing and character dynamic are all pretty well done.
My two biggest issues with this vn are:
1. Sex scene isn’t the best way to begin your story. It may lead your protagonist to be perceived as a horny nymphomaniac who’s main goal is getting laid, and while I know that’s the reason why a lot of people read fvn’s in the first place, it never the less can create a negative first impression, so that’s probably something you should not disclose about protagonist’s character for quite while.
2. I don’t like Calbex. As far as I understand knight’s duty aside from fighting is to be a good mentor to their squire yet Calbex has been neglecting both of these duties just because he is on recovery… apparently. Corwan works is ass off to become a knight yet Calbex simply doesn’t care about him or how well he becomes one, leaving his mentorhip to everyone else. He doesn't provide any mentorship, any guidance on what’s knight job is, doesn’t take any effort to encourage or discourage his passions… hell, he doesn’t provide much of an attention to hm really. I guess it’s for setting up his character arc but, like, doesn’t even higher ups demand of him to provide at least some sort of mentorship while he is recovering from injury? How is he still not in a retirement and out of the job? At this point I won’t mind if Corwan would be assigned even to Fen. Like sure, he is an ass, but at least he cares about rising good squires. Calbex, on the other hand just doesn’t.
To 1: Sex Scene can the the right way to begin a story. In some Sci-Fi Universe like Battletech and even Star Ship Trooper, Sex is a casual Thing between comrade. With the always looming thread on the horizon (plague) and focus on military and war - life is short and cheap. So the characters in this universe enjoy while they can.
To 2: When i look on the first day you are entirely correct. After the first dinner on day one between the two, the day basicly ends with just a deal. This can be easily fixed with some extra narration. However your asssements. However its a crucial mistake by both parties not just Calbex. On day two, Calbex provide moral support. After that he is cut off by the MCs tamper tantrum. Thats my only issus with the story: Dispite all the MCs dissapponitment by the bombshell Calbex dropped at him, you dont throw a fit at your Knight! And when Calbex called after him: "MC, wait!" the MC didnt listen. If Fen would have been the Knight, the MC would have been punished for disobyeing a direct order. The MC himself admits he acts like a child.
Fixing:
Day 1 evening can be easily /lazily fixed if Calbex just give the MC some Files or workout routine to learn. Can be done in just a few sentences...
Day2 + 3: The Outburst by both MC and Calbex seems to be a vital part of the story and their behaviour. A little bit more dialog my help, and not the "get angry and go to bed with bad mood - refuse to eloborate" - approach.
> With the always looming thread on the horizon (plague) and focus on military and war - life is short and cheap.
This explanation still doesn’t sit right with me. Unlike Battletech, IFS’s version of future doesn’t appear to be dystopian to resort to that sort of mentality, and while the plague is definitely a problem, it isn’t crashing moon from Majora’s Mask that is going to wipe everything out inevitably. It doesn’t help the fact that it was entirely MC’s choice to resort to military out of personal vendetta, so there is no real excuse for him to be a promiscuous slut.
And it isn’t like game adresses it as n tasteful way either. On the contrary it endorses such behavior which kinda insulting, honestly. According to it its okay to be a promiscuous slut, which is further reinforces harmful stereotypes for gay community. It either has to adress this sort of thing or left it offscreen entirely, cuz as it stands now, it just not a good look.
(On the other hand your second argument is on point and I fully agree with it)
And it isn’t like game adresses it as n tasteful way either. On the contrary it endorses such behavior which kinda insulting, honestly. According to it its okay to be a promiscuous slut, which is further reinforces harmful stereotypes for gay community. It either has to adress this sort of thing or left it offscreen entirely, cuz as it stands now, it just not a good look.
Would you kindly provide an example, pls.
For me the MC is just an 18-20 years old, who is barely out of puberty, who got surrounded by buff military furry guys, that fit exactly his liking. Of course he can barely keep his thoughts out of his gutter. Nothing to be ashemd of.
Great game, really love it, especially those characters, each of them is so cute!
God, had I found it when it's finished, I wouldn't have to bear the torment of waiting and expecting now
cant wait to see what will happen next, mostly what will happen between mc and Calbex, thats auch a cliffhanger, and how will mc interact with Alex and Brut :)
Loved Build 3 and excited for more! Heart wrenching ending, just the way I love it. No worries about delays or slowdowns, you've gotta do what works for yourself and your team and collaborators. Hope you have a good day :)
As a previous comment has mentioned, there seems to be an issue with the win version of the newest build (haven't tested the others). Upon watching the main files as the virus was quarantined, it seems the executable is being treated as a virus for some reason (and a trojan virus, at that O.o). Hopefully, this issue can get resolved soon (take your time though! :D)
Great update and love The story so far altough there were a couple glitches in this update a lot of characters gets duplicates like xaria Alex and cyrox but these glitches does in no way take away from how good this update was (btw this was from The Android version)
Aye this was the ongoing error mentioned in the dev log. We have a fix, but its going to take a long time to rewrite the code, so we are doing the full coding for Build 4. Thank you and thanks for enjoying it.
I love Cyrox so much, easily my favorite character so far he's really silly and cute. I really like the tiger girl too she's pretty cool and her blushing sprite is adorable. This update came by just in time for me, it really made my day just when I was feeling really depressed!
If the horniness gets in the way of serious scenes then I can see it not fitting. But if it’s in moments outside of those then it isn’t really bad. They are in war but they are just squires in training atm. Just depends on the execution and timing
Hi Taleek97, I'm one of the developers of IFS. Are you sure that's the right screenshot you've uploaded? That screenshot seems to be an error from this game, not from IFS.
Furry Visual Novels are just so different, so "indie" in a good way. But they do lack a lot especially in mechanics and scale. This isn't a bad thing per se, but I feel like there are too many linear stories in the furry genre. IK scale is hard to achieve with such a small team especially when they may have other jobs but as a FVN coming out sort of 'late' without anything special to add I feel a bit let down.
The artwork is amazing. I kind of do want to give it a 10/10 but there is still a lot of clean up that can be done, especially in texturing some materials. Everything (including the fur) feels like its made of plastic.
I personally do not get the dedication of these characters and why they have an intense emotional need to not let down their superiors. I'm just going to say it... It doesnt feel like they are militarily involved with their superiors. I think they just want to get in their senpai's bed by being an obedient good boy. --While sluttiness can be entertaining (eg Temptations Balad) it didnt seem to fit with the idea sold to us in the beginning, that they are at war with a very dangerous adversary and that they might have been brainwashed to be loyal fodder or at least have a good reason to be so patriotic. I just dont see it yet.
There are more of these logical "threads" that are just cut because I have my expectations subverted in similar ways. So Id have to rate the story boarding of the writer quite poorly for putting together something incoherent. Aside from that, it is written well enough if not a little fast paced. Since they are all in a facility or wearing a device more time could have been spent by the author helping us see what the MC sees as his first time on board this training base as he makes his way or gets alarms/calls (read Enders Game for reference). Things were either rushed into action or retreating to talk about the MCs negative emotions (it was done a tad too much too quickly. While I dont doubt you have a plan for this, as the reader it is becoming unbarable and making me dislike the MC. For a soldier he sure is a whiney bitch. You could try introducing other emotions because us readers want to feel good from time to time, not just sorry for the MC and then distracted by the horny stuff until it is time to feel sad again).
Id suggest to go over the story board. The sequence of events that happen are fine but you can go about the transition a little more slowly and introduce the world to us. The characters seem like they were cookie cutted and dont have unique motivations. All I feel from them is a tad bit of racism/elitism or being friendly for no reason. While a few characters were given a basic personality, they dont really pop out as if they could be a real life person with depth. All you really got going is a sensible sequence of events and some sexy characters. While this can be sold to a lot of people without complaints, that isn't exactly something id waste my time with, even if furry visual novels are hard to come by, id just not read this if the quality stays the same because it is incapable of making me feel anything (except maybe a little horny).
Over all there is real potential if this gem can be polished up. I am hoping for bettter stuff to come.
Thank you for taking the time for the review. I hope that as the series goes on you like it more.
I am saddened to hear that you do not like the character designs, as we spent a lot of time making them and I think they're all pretty cute and I didn't get a plastic feel at any point, though I will look at them closely now.
In terms of it being linear that is one of the points I am striving for in telling this story, routes were never an option. I personally do not like route VNs as much, especially when the routes are romance based. It feels off that you choose a path with the eventual goal of 'winning' a characters love. I'm attempting in this story to show that while who you may end up with at the end is set, that does not mean, as is life, that you can't/won't have experiences along the way. Those will be the options available when we get to them, but those choices will not change the outcome of the story.
As for the other comments, perhaps we will go and look back at the pacing for the earlier chapters, though that will happen later as we forge the story ahead atm. My writing style may appear incoherent, but I can also hope you wait as more chapters fill in those blanks in the way I have designed it, and if not, my style may just not be for you.
Build 3 is in the works for release to Patreons in the next few weeks with more world building, character development and bonding, and learning. I hope you can read that and see if its to your liking.
Thank you for taking the time to read the review. (EDITED)
1- I don't disagree that the character designs are of good quality. I am just having trouble imagining metal shoulder and chest pads on something that reminds me of Khakis like how ww2 uniforms use to be.
There are also some detailing with lines to give the art style more depth. However I've seen similar things (and more... well executed?) on anime figurines. In fact, some even go further and try to add not only lines but some texture that is somewhat lacking with the art style of your FVN (eg https://www.odditycentral.com/art/artist-turns-generic-figurines-into-ultra-real...) It wouldn't hurt to add some texture to what you have right now because with just 1 extra shade of darker/lighter color (besides some black lines for detail) it doesn't really help the viewers get a sense of touch into your world and so it becomes less memorable.
2- I really like space genres (battles, adventure, or smut...) so when I came across this there was a hope it would be a big project. Im not blaming you or anything... My impatience made my tongue slip and you didn't deserve any unfair criticism for that. You have every right to write the story you want to write. The point I was trying to make is that FVNs are now starting to get so popular that there is incentive for a big team to make a FVN with multiple routes or other interesting mechanics and have it be profitable. Some FVN patreons have almost a thousand subscribers with a decent chunk giving more than just 1$ a month. There are digital nomads living and working from low cost of living countries (or cruise ships) so if I had the necessary equipment and team this would definitely be my full time job AND i'd have a better, less stressful living condition.
3- (The Edit. Sorry about the great wall of text. Ill try to get to the point without dragging as much).
To put it short, I read a lot. While I don't write as much as i'd like to, I still know what ingredients goes into a good story.
One ingredient is readability. If you check out Comidacomida's work on SoFurry you'll see what I mean. He uses simple words, doesn't phrase things that need a grammar expert to have a double think, and the... colors? of the vocabulary are wonderful, so when you read it you actually enjoy it because he can turn words into art with the way it is all strung together. Unfortunately In Finite Space lacks these qualities in some regards, making it a bit of a chore to read through.
Another is the narrative. Im sure it is too early to tell, but I am not really learning anything about the characters of what their culture values. Readers love flawed characters that are relatable or different cultures that makes us see things with new perspectives, however the storyteller fails in this regard. I thought it was going well with Eryx the Bear but then events became incoherent and lacked logic. Supposedly his parents make him train very hard. And then he loses a spar. So he is staying up late to get in more training. Now all that makes sense if you think he is punishing himself over his loss while having an ego for being #1, but he has a clumsy streak (because he did fall down. Also this FVN isn't shy about stereotypes, and bears tend to have a clumsy stereotype to them). Perhaps his character arc is about letting go of perfection or being what youre not but that isn't done. In fact I am not sure what is done... Is he just eye candy for people with a specific type? That's all it seems like to me.
Speaking of coherency and logic, this FVN doesn't seem to feel like it was written by 1 person who has something to say. It feels like it was written by 10 different (horny) people. Im sure we all played or seen others play "take turns to complete a sentence but you can only say 1 word on your turn". If it is written by 1 person they need to go back to the storyboard phase and start ripping out things that don't have any importance. Distill it to its essence while keeping the sequence of events logical. You can keep things logical by first writing out the personality and temperment of your characters, eg an angry character with a short temper would go from grumbling to physically violent when they get triggered. Eryx sort of held up well since you both can bond over losing your spars, making the easy friendship with him logical, but then that's about it. In their world the new recruits are very subservient to their superiors but there is no logic for that. Supposedly they are fodder, and yet they are trained as if to become superiors themselves... This makes no logical sense unless it is about patriotism (yet they are so racist and elitist to each other? even patriotism for such a cruel society seems illogical, though you could make the case for brainwashing which can be interesting) or if the new recruits are all some kind of sadists. I think the latter because of how degraded the MC wants to be and has.... a kink for his officer... It just feels that way. Which makes it weird their whole army culture is about a dom/sub sex relation. That's not my fetish so I dont feel simpatico with the MC and the way he goes out of his way to be of "service".
Last 2 things would be the pacing between certain events as well as the world building going on so far.
Pacing is more than how many words you write between 2 events. You can even make it shorter or longer AND make the story even better for it. Pacing does a lot of things, one of which is setting a mood for expectations, or to set it up to subvert expectations if your MC is about to meet a subversive or tricky new character. Ender's Game does this really well, but if you'd rather another FVN that does it well would be Roads Yet Traveled. (Spoilers) The MC is nervous to meet the Captain, and it turns out for good reason too, because she turns out to be very intimidating. At first I thought the MC was being a wimp for no reason and there was no reason to fear her... And then we meet her and OMG she is scary! I am actually glad a writer can make me regret being wrong (in a good way ofc). But thankfully she is rational and not mean for the sake of being mean... She did make it to Captain after all so it wouldnt be logical some mega corporation would put someone unhinged at the helm of the ship. The pacing between when the MC was getting nervous, to waiting for the suspense to build, to meeting her and being alone for a while, and when Tyre gets a beat down, to once again being alone with her is all well paced and helps the reader feel the subtle feelings the writer intended to portray and releases our nervousness about her when it is all over while having something to look forward to when meeting her again WHAT!? Unfortunately that all goes out the window in In Finite Space. It always feels like there is unsettled business with every character so far. While I have no issues with the events the way they start and end leaves me emotionally confused. For eg the feelings of solitude right before we meet Eryx just seems to start right back up when we part ways. The MC (thus the writer) fails to insert the way the world subtly changes. We walked out of that entire interaction with the way things started. I was expecting more of a skip to our step or a change of perspective about lonely nights. No offense, but besides the eye candy your characters dont feel like they do anything else for the reader on an emotional level.
While I do not like information dumps, there needs to be more moments where the MC notices something and explains how it makes him feel. IK it helps build up mystery to not describe an enemy too much too quickly but I feel like that whole scene should be rewritten. Often, the reactions of others are supposed to be a hint to how we should react, and yet that was missing. No shared scar trope, no mention to how things changed forever (other than still being at war) ((eg take the TSA ever since 9/11)), no change of mood from rambunctious to solemn... At least it doesn't feel that way. Besides the enemy, you could point to certain technology, engineering, or culture that needed to evolve from something we as the reader can relate to into something new that makes logical sense to their world. Unfortunately I fail to feel what it is like to be part of their world. Because of the tone it is written in, and that I find horny for the sake of horny to be annoying, it just feels like this facility theyre all in is a candy shop and the MC is just there to oogle some furry people while trying to get his kink on and I can't take the story seriously. I think story ought to come before the smutt since that is guaranteed to make people read your work and have more of an emotional impact with a character they can relate to or fancy. I just think a writer would feel bad if people use the skip button until they reach a nude character...
There are more ingredients but I dont find them as important as these, especially since In Finite Space seems to be very lacking in these regards I find most important. I don't mean to come off across as someone who just wants a story written differently. I genuinely believe there is always a better way to rewrite a thing, and there is a lot of polishing that can be done without changing the essence of this story. Ive read so many stories so Id know what works and what is just clutter that ruins more ways of enjoying the story than helps it. This FVN does have some clutter but most of common of all is a carelessness when it comes to the reader in mind. Your readers are always thinking and making assumptions and going through feelings and emotions. We don't get a flow from the writer and it can feel like we are just a spectator to a wolrd and people we dont care about. Many people would call such experiences a waste of time with nothing to gain. I am sure many would disagree with me, but I would wager it is because they find a certain character appealing or have the same kinks as the MC. Nothing wrong with what you fancy, but stories are supposed to be for a wider audience to learn something. Im sure if we could have art of a character they fancy and a story about them my same cirtics would flock to that media over your FVN which I am sure you are pouring so much effort and love into. FVNs wont survive against such media that can do what you do but more cheaply and less time consuming, so if you also care about being fairly compensated and appreciated you'd focus more on the quality of the writing and take your time to polish it up, at least until the characters, personalities, and events they find themselves in are all logically coherent, and trust your audience to love them over the relatable moments and moments they wished they had IRL. While it wont be an "Amazing work of art!" it is good enough for a FVN made by a passionate small scale creator and be a lot better than what it is now.
The VN is amazing so far, my only nitpick is that there is no music while Fen is talking even though it kinda feels like there should be some kind of inspirational piece or something
I agree, Something ambient during some of the dead silence would be nice in general. I think they made a song and added it to a couple scenes but there's still a lot of dead silence from what I noticed.
We are aware of this and are composing more music for these moments. Since we're taking the music direction very seriously we want to make sure we hit the right notes.
That being said we may look at implementing some ambient sound to some scenes as a placeholder.
Maros will return in the future yes. There are no 'routes' as its a linear story, but there are options to spend time with all the cast, so please look forward to seeing Maros again.
Since this visual novel has no routes and it is linear does that mean you can have NSFW interactions with the other squires and knights that have their character images in the game?
Finally got to play it and I'm impressed! The MC is very committing with goals no matter the odds/obstacles, challenges that will hit him, and finding a true call for his purpose as a squire. The characters are well colorful in their own ways and their motives and cultures etc. Love it!
I'll look forward for the next update! Keep up the good work!!!
Will the VN have just the optional "stress relief" or will it have full romance options? Not gonna lie that I'm rather looking for the latter.
Or is there gonna be at least something beyond just "stress relief"? I really liked the moment where Calbex tried to console the MC and I hope it will go further than that.
The romance, or rather the eventual ending for the MC is written. Much as is in life, who you finally settle down with doesn't mean you don't have plenty of other sexual and romantic experiences along the way. This aspect of life is one of the goals we are showing in this story.
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Hey dev team just ignore att this hate and criticism some of these people put. Just have fun and create the story yall want to create. Im loving the story and all the art. Just keep having fun. You got my support.
Making “body positivity “ as one of your theme in a place where physical fitness is an absolute necessity is beyond stupid in particular
Alt right brainrot.
Buddy, body positivity is not embracing your “inner fatass”… it’s about accepting your dysfunctions like for example: losing a leg in a car accident, or being born without a nose… or losing an eye (and much more) in a war (looking at you Calbex).
Correct me if I’m wrong
Edit: it’s literally in the second CG on that page…
I said something similar but I don't see it, not sure if authors can delete comments on this site
Hey, how old is Calbex and Fen? Who is older, I am curious about this.
Warning: Gatria system under threat from Terminid incursion, requesting additional helldivers
great game
Reading the synopsis and the comment under mine just pushed me to get this. Saw the name of this as a suggestion in a random Keith Ballard vid and thought I'd look it up. Glad I did, kinda excited, hope this holds up. That said, still gotta catch up on some others before reading this.
So is each build a chapter? I'm assuming so since there are four chapters and the last build that was released was build four.
indeed yes. We have not split any chapters yet
The game so far is amazing, can't wait for the next update
Really enjoy the game so far; can't wait for the next update. That cliffhanger killed me
Here we go!!!!!!
I mean, Brut and Calbex is fine, minus Brut being a total ass at first.
The story is quite good, but I have to admit the emotional breakdowns are a bit over embedded.
Anyways, it's a good start and I definitely want to see more on the upcoming updates.
XX
I abs love this story and how it plays out, i await new updates in the future and i love your work, everything from the artstyle to the environments, music and everything is very well done. I love the work.
I do want more content of Jeaz and Cyrox tho plz plz 🙏🙏 (And caldex ofc ofc)
NOOOOOOO!! it can't just end like that!?! that's so meaaaan! what a dirty cliffhanger 😭😭
ugh this story is too good send help
The actions scenes are always super well done, which is impressive, because other than horror, I personally find that action is the most difficult genre to write well, so I really must applaud the effort xou've put into making these scenes coherent and absolutely enjoyable 😌
Everything about IFS is top notch. Backgrounds, sprites, music, writing, pacing, world building, everything! 😁 I'm totally hooked and can't wait to see where xou guys take this compelling tale!
It doesn't happen often, but when there is such an amazing female character like Xaria despite all the characters being good. She is easily my favorite
This story has me so hooked right now and i love all the characters, I kinda hate how attracted I am to Brut... and Eryx must be protected at all costs (who im also severely attracted to)
the art in this game is fire!
Loving the vn so far, i like the setting and story building, and a very solid mix of characters. Also Eryx is too pure and I must protect him from harm!
I'm glad the story still continues, even though I'm late to the party. and even though calbex lashed out, if anything I just felt sad, rather than upset about the sudden whiplash. I just want to comfort him, but you can't comfort someone without knowing whats wrong first. so gonna be chilling and waiting for that to come along at some point. oh yea, Merry Christmas.
A pretty enjoyable YA fiction if that's your sort of thing. Art, worldbuilding, writing and character dynamic are all pretty well done.
My two biggest issues with this vn are:
1. Sex scene isn’t the best way to begin your story. It may lead your protagonist to be perceived as a horny nymphomaniac who’s main goal is getting laid, and while I know that’s the reason why a lot of people read fvn’s in the first place, it never the less can create a negative first impression, so that’s probably something you should not disclose about protagonist’s character for quite while.
2. I don’t like Calbex. As far as I understand knight’s duty aside from fighting is to be a good mentor to their squire yet Calbex has been neglecting both of these duties just because he is on recovery… apparently. Corwan works is ass off to become a knight yet Calbex simply doesn’t care about him or how well he becomes one, leaving his mentorhip to everyone else. He doesn't provide any mentorship, any guidance on what’s knight job is, doesn’t take any effort to encourage or discourage his passions… hell, he doesn’t provide much of an attention to hm really. I guess it’s for setting up his character arc but, like, doesn’t even higher ups demand of him to provide at least some sort of mentorship while he is recovering from injury? How is he still not in a retirement and out of the job? At this point I won’t mind if Corwan would be assigned even to Fen. Like sure, he is an ass, but at least he cares about rising good squires. Calbex, on the other hand just doesn’t.
To 1: Sex Scene can the the right way to begin a story. In some Sci-Fi Universe like Battletech and even Star Ship Trooper, Sex is a casual Thing between comrade. With the always looming thread on the horizon (plague) and focus on military and war - life is short and cheap. So the characters in this universe enjoy while they can.
To 2: When i look on the first day you are entirely correct. After the first dinner on day one between the two, the day basicly ends with just a deal. This can be easily fixed with some extra narration. However your asssements. However its a crucial mistake by both parties not just Calbex. On day two, Calbex provide moral support. After that he is cut off by the MCs tamper tantrum. Thats my only issus with the story: Dispite all the MCs dissapponitment by the bombshell Calbex dropped at him, you dont throw a fit at your Knight! And when Calbex called after him: "MC, wait!" the MC didnt listen. If Fen would have been the Knight, the MC would have been punished for disobyeing a direct order. The MC himself admits he acts like a child.
Fixing:
Day 1 evening can be easily /lazily fixed if Calbex just give the MC some Files or workout routine to learn. Can be done in just a few sentences...
Day2 + 3: The Outburst by both MC and Calbex seems to be a vital part of the story and their behaviour. A little bit more dialog my help, and not the "get angry and go to bed with bad mood - refuse to eloborate" - approach.
> With the always looming thread on the horizon (plague) and focus on military and war - life is short and cheap.
This explanation still doesn’t sit right with me. Unlike Battletech, IFS’s version of future doesn’t appear to be dystopian to resort to that sort of mentality, and while the plague is definitely a problem, it isn’t crashing moon from Majora’s Mask that is going to wipe everything out inevitably. It doesn’t help the fact that it was entirely MC’s choice to resort to military out of personal vendetta, so there is no real excuse for him to be a promiscuous slut.
And it isn’t like game adresses it as n tasteful way either. On the contrary it endorses such behavior which kinda insulting, honestly. According to it its okay to be a promiscuous slut, which is further reinforces harmful stereotypes for gay community. It either has to adress this sort of thing or left it offscreen entirely, cuz as it stands now, it just not a good look.
(On the other hand your second argument is on point and I fully agree with it)
Would you kindly provide an example, pls.
For me the MC is just an 18-20 years old, who is barely out of puberty, who got surrounded by buff military furry guys, that fit exactly his liking. Of course he can barely keep his thoughts out of his gutter. Nothing to be ashemd of.
You clearly weren't much around the military
My dad was, and as much as he liked to talk about it not once he was mentioning the fact he and his boys fucked with each other in an orgy sessions.
And even if they were it doesn’t mean that a fictional story should present it as tasteless as it does.
Great game, really love it, especially those characters, each of them is so cute!
God, had I found it when it's finished, I wouldn't have to bear the torment of waiting and expecting now
cant wait to see what will happen next, mostly what will happen between mc and Calbex, thats auch a cliffhanger, and how will mc interact with Alex and Brut :)
Loved Build 3 and excited for more! Heart wrenching ending, just the way I love it. No worries about delays or slowdowns, you've gotta do what works for yourself and your team and collaborators. Hope you have a good day :)
Sorry to be a bother but could you please add platform tags to the downloads, without them people cannot download the update in the Itch.io app
done. My bad when I uploaded the hot fix I forgot to do that.
Thank you very much!
We playing as a boy?
Protag is a human male, yes.
Thanks
I had the quarantine issue in windows too, so I loaded the PC version in windows sandbox and had no issue from reading the update in the virtual box
As a previous comment has mentioned, there seems to be an issue with the win version of the newest build (haven't tested the others). Upon watching the main files as the virus was quarantined, it seems the executable is being treated as a virus for some reason (and a trojan virus, at that O.o). Hopefully, this issue can get resolved soon (take your time though! :D)
Great update and love The story so far altough there were a couple glitches in this update a lot of characters gets duplicates like xaria Alex and cyrox but these glitches does in no way take away from how good this update was (btw this was from The Android version)
Aye this was the ongoing error mentioned in the dev log. We have a fix, but its going to take a long time to rewrite the code, so we are doing the full coding for Build 4. Thank you and thanks for enjoying it.
The game won't launch after I downloaded the Win ver. It gives me like an error message "Can not execute" it says.
I'm having the same issue. My computer REFUSES to open it, wont even give me the option cause it says it detects a virus in the download
I love Cyrox so much, easily my favorite character so far he's really silly and cute. I really like the tiger girl too she's pretty cool and her blushing sprite is adorable. This update came by just in time for me, it really made my day just when I was feeling really depressed!
The vn is okay but a horny MC in a time of war against the Plague is not really fitting.
If the horniness gets in the way of serious scenes then I can see it not fitting. But if it’s in moments outside of those then it isn’t really bad. They are in war but they are just squires in training atm. Just depends on the execution and timing
How big are some of the characters compared to the human mc? I heard at one point that Corwan was about a foot taller than him.
There is a variety of heights, we have not seen any of the smaller characters really yet, aside from Maros, who is smaller than the MC.
Hi Taleek97, I'm one of the developers of IFS. Are you sure that's the right screenshot you've uploaded? That screenshot seems to be an error from this game, not from IFS.
Sorry my bad
This seems like a potentially good visual novel.
Furry Visual Novels are just so different, so "indie" in a good way. But they do lack a lot especially in mechanics and scale. This isn't a bad thing per se, but I feel like there are too many linear stories in the furry genre. IK scale is hard to achieve with such a small team especially when they may have other jobs but as a FVN coming out sort of 'late' without anything special to add I feel a bit let down.
The artwork is amazing. I kind of do want to give it a 10/10 but there is still a lot of clean up that can be done, especially in texturing some materials. Everything (including the fur) feels like its made of plastic.
I personally do not get the dedication of these characters and why they have an intense emotional need to not let down their superiors. I'm just going to say it... It doesnt feel like they are militarily involved with their superiors. I think they just want to get in their senpai's bed by being an obedient good boy. --While sluttiness can be entertaining (eg Temptations Balad) it didnt seem to fit with the idea sold to us in the beginning, that they are at war with a very dangerous adversary and that they might have been brainwashed to be loyal fodder or at least have a good reason to be so patriotic. I just dont see it yet.
There are more of these logical "threads" that are just cut because I have my expectations subverted in similar ways. So Id have to rate the story boarding of the writer quite poorly for putting together something incoherent. Aside from that, it is written well enough if not a little fast paced. Since they are all in a facility or wearing a device more time could have been spent by the author helping us see what the MC sees as his first time on board this training base as he makes his way or gets alarms/calls (read Enders Game for reference). Things were either rushed into action or retreating to talk about the MCs negative emotions (it was done a tad too much too quickly. While I dont doubt you have a plan for this, as the reader it is becoming unbarable and making me dislike the MC. For a soldier he sure is a whiney bitch. You could try introducing other emotions because us readers want to feel good from time to time, not just sorry for the MC and then distracted by the horny stuff until it is time to feel sad again).
Id suggest to go over the story board. The sequence of events that happen are fine but you can go about the transition a little more slowly and introduce the world to us. The characters seem like they were cookie cutted and dont have unique motivations. All I feel from them is a tad bit of racism/elitism or being friendly for no reason. While a few characters were given a basic personality, they dont really pop out as if they could be a real life person with depth. All you really got going is a sensible sequence of events and some sexy characters. While this can be sold to a lot of people without complaints, that isn't exactly something id waste my time with, even if furry visual novels are hard to come by, id just not read this if the quality stays the same because it is incapable of making me feel anything (except maybe a little horny).
Over all there is real potential if this gem can be polished up. I am hoping for bettter stuff to come.
Thank you for taking the time for the review. I hope that as the series goes on you like it more.
I am saddened to hear that you do not like the character designs, as we spent a lot of time making them and I think they're all pretty cute and I didn't get a plastic feel at any point, though I will look at them closely now.
In terms of it being linear that is one of the points I am striving for in telling this story, routes were never an option. I personally do not like route VNs as much, especially when the routes are romance based. It feels off that you choose a path with the eventual goal of 'winning' a characters love. I'm attempting in this story to show that while who you may end up with at the end is set, that does not mean, as is life, that you can't/won't have experiences along the way. Those will be the options available when we get to them, but those choices will not change the outcome of the story.
As for the other comments, perhaps we will go and look back at the pacing for the earlier chapters, though that will happen later as we forge the story ahead atm. My writing style may appear incoherent, but I can also hope you wait as more chapters fill in those blanks in the way I have designed it, and if not, my style may just not be for you.
Build 3 is in the works for release to Patreons in the next few weeks with more world building, character development and bonding, and learning. I hope you can read that and see if its to your liking.
Thank you for taking the time to read the review. (EDITED)
1- I don't disagree that the character designs are of good quality. I am just having trouble imagining metal shoulder and chest pads on something that reminds me of Khakis like how ww2 uniforms use to be.
There are also some detailing with lines to give the art style more depth. However I've seen similar things (and more... well executed?) on anime figurines. In fact, some even go further and try to add not only lines but some texture that is somewhat lacking with the art style of your FVN (eg https://www.odditycentral.com/art/artist-turns-generic-figurines-into-ultra-real...) It wouldn't hurt to add some texture to what you have right now because with just 1 extra shade of darker/lighter color (besides some black lines for detail) it doesn't really help the viewers get a sense of touch into your world and so it becomes less memorable.
2- I really like space genres (battles, adventure, or smut...) so when I came across this there was a hope it would be a big project. Im not blaming you or anything... My impatience made my tongue slip and you didn't deserve any unfair criticism for that. You have every right to write the story you want to write. The point I was trying to make is that FVNs are now starting to get so popular that there is incentive for a big team to make a FVN with multiple routes or other interesting mechanics and have it be profitable. Some FVN patreons have almost a thousand subscribers with a decent chunk giving more than just 1$ a month. There are digital nomads living and working from low cost of living countries (or cruise ships) so if I had the necessary equipment and team this would definitely be my full time job AND i'd have a better, less stressful living condition.
3- (The Edit. Sorry about the great wall of text. Ill try to get to the point without dragging as much).
To put it short, I read a lot. While I don't write as much as i'd like to, I still know what ingredients goes into a good story.
One ingredient is readability. If you check out Comidacomida's work on SoFurry you'll see what I mean. He uses simple words, doesn't phrase things that need a grammar expert to have a double think, and the... colors? of the vocabulary are wonderful, so when you read it you actually enjoy it because he can turn words into art with the way it is all strung together. Unfortunately In Finite Space lacks these qualities in some regards, making it a bit of a chore to read through.
Another is the narrative. Im sure it is too early to tell, but I am not really learning anything about the characters of what their culture values. Readers love flawed characters that are relatable or different cultures that makes us see things with new perspectives, however the storyteller fails in this regard. I thought it was going well with Eryx the Bear but then events became incoherent and lacked logic. Supposedly his parents make him train very hard. And then he loses a spar. So he is staying up late to get in more training. Now all that makes sense if you think he is punishing himself over his loss while having an ego for being #1, but he has a clumsy streak (because he did fall down. Also this FVN isn't shy about stereotypes, and bears tend to have a clumsy stereotype to them). Perhaps his character arc is about letting go of perfection or being what youre not but that isn't done. In fact I am not sure what is done... Is he just eye candy for people with a specific type? That's all it seems like to me.
Speaking of coherency and logic, this FVN doesn't seem to feel like it was written by 1 person who has something to say. It feels like it was written by 10 different (horny) people. Im sure we all played or seen others play "take turns to complete a sentence but you can only say 1 word on your turn". If it is written by 1 person they need to go back to the storyboard phase and start ripping out things that don't have any importance. Distill it to its essence while keeping the sequence of events logical. You can keep things logical by first writing out the personality and temperment of your characters, eg an angry character with a short temper would go from grumbling to physically violent when they get triggered. Eryx sort of held up well since you both can bond over losing your spars, making the easy friendship with him logical, but then that's about it. In their world the new recruits are very subservient to their superiors but there is no logic for that. Supposedly they are fodder, and yet they are trained as if to become superiors themselves... This makes no logical sense unless it is about patriotism (yet they are so racist and elitist to each other? even patriotism for such a cruel society seems illogical, though you could make the case for brainwashing which can be interesting) or if the new recruits are all some kind of sadists. I think the latter because of how degraded the MC wants to be and has.... a kink for his officer... It just feels that way. Which makes it weird their whole army culture is about a dom/sub sex relation. That's not my fetish so I dont feel simpatico with the MC and the way he goes out of his way to be of "service".
Last 2 things would be the pacing between certain events as well as the world building going on so far.
Pacing is more than how many words you write between 2 events. You can even make it shorter or longer AND make the story even better for it. Pacing does a lot of things, one of which is setting a mood for expectations, or to set it up to subvert expectations if your MC is about to meet a subversive or tricky new character. Ender's Game does this really well, but if you'd rather another FVN that does it well would be Roads Yet Traveled. (Spoilers) The MC is nervous to meet the Captain, and it turns out for good reason too, because she turns out to be very intimidating. At first I thought the MC was being a wimp for no reason and there was no reason to fear her... And then we meet her and OMG she is scary! I am actually glad a writer can make me regret being wrong (in a good way ofc). But thankfully she is rational and not mean for the sake of being mean... She did make it to Captain after all so it wouldnt be logical some mega corporation would put someone unhinged at the helm of the ship. The pacing between when the MC was getting nervous, to waiting for the suspense to build, to meeting her and being alone for a while, and when Tyre gets a beat down, to once again being alone with her is all well paced and helps the reader feel the subtle feelings the writer intended to portray and releases our nervousness about her when it is all over while having something to look forward to when meeting her again WHAT!? Unfortunately that all goes out the window in In Finite Space. It always feels like there is unsettled business with every character so far. While I have no issues with the events the way they start and end leaves me emotionally confused. For eg the feelings of solitude right before we meet Eryx just seems to start right back up when we part ways. The MC (thus the writer) fails to insert the way the world subtly changes. We walked out of that entire interaction with the way things started. I was expecting more of a skip to our step or a change of perspective about lonely nights. No offense, but besides the eye candy your characters dont feel like they do anything else for the reader on an emotional level.
While I do not like information dumps, there needs to be more moments where the MC notices something and explains how it makes him feel. IK it helps build up mystery to not describe an enemy too much too quickly but I feel like that whole scene should be rewritten. Often, the reactions of others are supposed to be a hint to how we should react, and yet that was missing. No shared scar trope, no mention to how things changed forever (other than still being at war) ((eg take the TSA ever since 9/11)), no change of mood from rambunctious to solemn... At least it doesn't feel that way. Besides the enemy, you could point to certain technology, engineering, or culture that needed to evolve from something we as the reader can relate to into something new that makes logical sense to their world. Unfortunately I fail to feel what it is like to be part of their world. Because of the tone it is written in, and that I find horny for the sake of horny to be annoying, it just feels like this facility theyre all in is a candy shop and the MC is just there to oogle some furry people while trying to get his kink on and I can't take the story seriously. I think story ought to come before the smutt since that is guaranteed to make people read your work and have more of an emotional impact with a character they can relate to or fancy. I just think a writer would feel bad if people use the skip button until they reach a nude character...
There are more ingredients but I dont find them as important as these, especially since In Finite Space seems to be very lacking in these regards I find most important. I don't mean to come off across as someone who just wants a story written differently. I genuinely believe there is always a better way to rewrite a thing, and there is a lot of polishing that can be done without changing the essence of this story. Ive read so many stories so Id know what works and what is just clutter that ruins more ways of enjoying the story than helps it. This FVN does have some clutter but most of common of all is a carelessness when it comes to the reader in mind. Your readers are always thinking and making assumptions and going through feelings and emotions. We don't get a flow from the writer and it can feel like we are just a spectator to a wolrd and people we dont care about. Many people would call such experiences a waste of time with nothing to gain. I am sure many would disagree with me, but I would wager it is because they find a certain character appealing or have the same kinks as the MC. Nothing wrong with what you fancy, but stories are supposed to be for a wider audience to learn something. Im sure if we could have art of a character they fancy and a story about them my same cirtics would flock to that media over your FVN which I am sure you are pouring so much effort and love into. FVNs wont survive against such media that can do what you do but more cheaply and less time consuming, so if you also care about being fairly compensated and appreciated you'd focus more on the quality of the writing and take your time to polish it up, at least until the characters, personalities, and events they find themselves in are all logically coherent, and trust your audience to love them over the relatable moments and moments they wished they had IRL. While it wont be an "Amazing work of art!" it is good enough for a FVN made by a passionate small scale creator and be a lot better than what it is now.
Dude are you the main character everywhere you go. This was one of the most out of touch posts I've ever seen.
I'd be extremely embarrassed posting stuff like this.
Just giving my honest opinion. If youre too embarrassed to be honest maybe youre the one out of touch.
L
the commander in purple is a piece of shit, and the one in blue is a sweet heart, thats what i see so far.
The VN is amazing so far, my only nitpick is that there is no music while Fen is talking even though it kinda feels like there should be some kind of inspirational piece or something
I agree, Something ambient during some of the dead silence would be nice in general. I think they made a song and added it to a couple scenes but there's still a lot of dead silence from what I noticed.
We are aware of this and are composing more music for these moments. Since we're taking the music direction very seriously we want to make sure we hit the right notes.
That being said we may look at implementing some ambient sound to some scenes as a placeholder.
Great novel, keep up the good work.
I have a question - will Maros appear further in the game? Will be the route with him?
Maros will return in the future yes. There are no 'routes' as its a linear story, but there are options to spend time with all the cast, so please look forward to seeing Maros again.
Since this visual novel has no routes and it is linear does that mean you can have NSFW interactions with the other squires and knights that have their character images in the game?
that is correct yes.
Will their also be top and bottom variations for the MC/characters as well?
the MC is vers. So there will be situations where he tops, and others where he bottoms. I hope you enjoy those scenes if you choose to play them ;)
loving the story so far. cant wait for the next update
Finally got to play it and I'm impressed! The MC is very committing with goals no matter the odds/obstacles, challenges that will hit him, and finding a true call for his purpose as a squire. The characters are well colorful in their own ways and their motives and cultures etc. Love it!
I'll look forward for the next update! Keep up the good work!!!
Will the VN have just the optional "stress relief" or will it have full romance options? Not gonna lie that I'm rather looking for the latter.
Or is there gonna be at least something beyond just "stress relief"? I really liked the moment where Calbex tried to console the MC and I hope it will go further than that.
The romance, or rather the eventual ending for the MC is written. Much as is in life, who you finally settle down with doesn't mean you don't have plenty of other sexual and romantic experiences along the way. This aspect of life is one of the goals we are showing in this story.
Sorry that I disrespected your agency. It's your project, not mine. I just fawned too much over Calbex.
I'm not going to hide that it does certainly sound like a breath of fresh air. And I'm certainly interested in your project.
I myself do actually have a sci-fi VN planned for the future where the characters' romances are set.